Watermelon and Other Thoughts on My Church

Watermelon and Other Thoughts on My Church

Almost five years ago when my husband and I started attending St. A’s, I had friends and family wonder why I wanted to attend church so regularly and more importantly they wanted to make sure that I wasn’t getting, “all religious” on them.

I put these church skeptics at ease by assuring them that I merely liked the quiet time; a reflective time-out from my busy life as a working mother of 4 small children. I also guaranteed them that I really didn’t listen in church anyway.

Whether or not these assertions were true didn’t seem to matter at the time. I was just glad to keep my spiritual detractors at bay. Then at some point I realized that I really wasn’t listening in church. Or rather I was not listening in the traditional sense of the word.

I would sit in the pew and hear with my soul.

Some might say I was just spaced out. However, subconsciously a shifting occurred. My relationship with God and others changed. I could barely tell you what the scriptures said, aside from the occasional giggle inducing, obscure Biblical names. Even the priest’s sermons were more felt than heard.

Then as months passed I noticed my soul soften. I began to give more of my time to this parish I love. Not out of fear of the afterlife or some supposed threat of hell fire and damnation but rather out of a true desire to serve. My soul pushed me to assist with building God’s kingdom in the here and now.

So, my spiritual awakening actually began as a lack of listening but I was finally truly hearing.

And if I were occasionally lost in the liturgy, I would do what a good church friend of mine suggested: Just mouth, “watermelon” and it will look like you are following along with the BCP.

Over the years St. A’s has proven itself to be not only a space of zoned out worship for me but also a place for me to truly explore God’s desires for me and my family.