Backpacks and Losing Control
I had every intention of keeping my backpack with me as I boarded the plane. I made it through the pre-screen with only a minor snide remark about the size of my pack made by the TSA agent. I was sure I was in good shape. For sure I would be able to easily board the plane and secure the pack in the overhead compartment.
As I sat at the gate, the announcement came. The flight was full and they were asking for volunteers to check their carry-ons. "Not me," I thought, "I will not relinquish my bag to the guts of claimed baggage only to get potentially lost between Phoenix and Dublin. No. Way!" I reasoned that all of these other people could surely check their bags to afford this pilgrim peace of mind.
When the flight attendant finally insisted that I check my pack, I had already dragged it to the back of the plane in a futile effort to find space. I gave in. Returning to the front of the plane where my pack was tagged and taken away. I watched as it disappeared from my sight. I felt that all of the planning and packing and preparation for my journey was slipping from me. What if they lose the bag? I can't walk that trail without boots! This is going to ruin my trip! All of these thoughts ran through my mind and I realized I had no control over what happened.
They didn't lose the bag. But not because I did something right or acted or made a wise choice. I realized my pilgrimage had officially started when I grabbed my pack off the carousel in Dublin. And I already learned one of the first lessons: That this pilgrimage will progress like the rest of life and it is probably best to let go of any perceived notion of control.
