The Aftermath
These
posts are intended to inform, educate and hopefully help others. I have found
my own sources of help that have led me to wholeness. My prayer is that other
victims may find healing and wholeness as well.
Almost a year ago I wrote
publically about being a sexual abuse survivor. The act of writing was
cathartic yet the sharing of such private, vulnerable information was scary. I
was confident it was the right thing to do yet, on a deeper level old held beliefs
would sneak up and that monster called shame had me double guessing my choice
to share in a public forum. I knew there would be fallout and I worked hard to
maintain hope that the aftermath of my decision would ultimately be positive.
It didn’t take long for the messages
to start flowing in. Women from all backgrounds extended invitations for coffee
or happy hour. The stories were sickeningly the same, an uncle, father,
babysitter, someone unidentified, all perpetrators of child molestation. Some
stories were more graphic and others vague. The identity of the offenders
didn’t matter nor did the severity of the abuse. What mattered was these women
were reaching out to tell their stories, make connection and search for
healing.
The healing ended up being
mine. The fear that I would be scorned, rejected and seen as irredeemably
broken did not come to fruition. In fact I believe I was seen as a conduit for
the healing of other survivors. The experience of acknowledging my past,
fleshing out the parts that had wounded me, struggling to make sense of what
was left and then regaining a certain kind of wholeness is a profoundly
comforting story for other survivors. My willingness to share my story was not
met with shaming but rather with acceptance, empathy and sharing of a wrong
inflicted on far too many children.
In the aftermath, the stories
were difficult to hear and the sheer number of them nauseating but I am
grateful I did not shy away telling my own story. If you are a survivor and
continue to hold this heavy secret, please consider breaking your silence. I
promise there are compassionate listeners and skilled therapists who can help
you through the darkness. And if you need encouragement, we can always meet for
happy hour or coffee.
