Spiritual Pollution

Spiritual Pollution

We started out Sunday morning at the BART station unloading from our friend’s SUV. My teenagers had to exit from the hatchback due to car seat configurations that relegated their seating to the third row. As they rolled out from the back of the Volvo, my friend noticed my daughter was wearing fishnet socks with her tennis shoes. My older children are past the point of me advising them on their wardrobe choices and any poor clothing ideas are theirs to own and live with the consequences of. I wondered about the fishnets because I know how many miles can be walked during a day trip to San Francisco but I have learned that advice given about trivial matters only dilutes any clout I might have with situations that carry more weight and thus I chose to keep my comment to, “We may need to get to other socks in the city if those become uncomfortable.”

Despite the impractical hosiery, my daughter was a trooper and I heard no complaints until later in the day as we hiked along a beachside trail in search of a labyrinth purportedly jetting out over a visit on the Bay with an incredible view of not only the Golden Gate Bridge but also the Pacific Ocean. As we walked along the vista, she finally gave in and stated, “When we get there I am taking these socks off and throwing them into the ocean. They can be spiritual pollution!”

Fishnet socks as spiritual pollution. Well, of course! It makes sense. What better metaphor for things that do not serve us in this life? Uncomfortable, senseless, irritating, irrational and useless things, feelings and beliefs we continue to hold on to and often go unnoticed until others point them out or we ourselves are mercifully able to realize they need to be relegated to pollution and disposed of.

It has been my experience that I have worn and disposed of many fishnet socks over the years but frustratingly they keep showing up and manifesting themselves as that spiritual pollution that I never seem to be able to permanently throw away. Self-loathing, lack of compassion, impatience with myself and others, and existential disdain all show up feeling like fishnet socks worn with sneakers while walking the hilly streets of San Francisco. Painful, embarrassing and frustrating that I continue to return to this spiritual pollution even though it doesn’t serve others or me.

My daughter never threw those socks in the ocean.

I guess my spiritual pollution remains as well.