Day 8: Edinburgh to Aberdeen

                                            Day 8: Edinburgh to Aberdeen

It only took us half an hour to get on the correct route out of Edinburgh. It was Rob's first time driving on the, "wrong" side of the road and the helpful rental car agent apparently presumed we'd be smart enough to use the navigation system. As I struggled with a war room sized Scottish touring map, I'd occasionally glance up to see parked cars or curbs coming right toward me. All of my dreams of driving through the bucolic Scottish countryside were fading rapidly as I grabbed onto the seat and tensed my body with each passing mile and roundabout. After about an hour we decided to see if, "maybe" the navigation system worked. What a wonderful thing technology is and in about 30 minutes we arrived in St. Andrews.

St. Andrews was a surprise highlight. I had not researched this town except to look into a round of golf for Rob. So, we could not have been more pleased then when we pulled in and were met with a gorgeous beach and amazing views of historic church and castle relics. We spent the day exploring and even found a small, artisan jewelry store to buy our rings for our vow renewal.

Our day ended in Aberdeen in a wonderful Italian restaurant. I was so happy to be out of the big city and thanks to our navigation system genuinely looking forward to another couple of days driving in the countryside of my dreams.

Day 7: Edinburgh

Day 7: Edinburgh

We got to Edinburgh castle early, just like the Pinterest article recommended. A quick spin through the Royal Jewels and we were in the Royal apartment. It was in this apartment that Mary Queen of Scots lived after she had returned from her French exile. This is also where she birthed her only child, James. Thou knowest  this King James, thy one who had the Bible translated into thy most difficult to read version. Anyway, Mary never got to see her son grow up as she was imprisoned for 19 years and then executed. Apparently her cousin Elizabeth I was a wee bit threatened and couldn't bear to see what was to eventually become the UK be ruled by a Catholic. God forbid!

 I am aware of at least several things happening in our current religious/political climate that I am sure people will look back on and shake their heads about. Wait, I'm already shaking my head.

Days 5 & 6: Austin to Edinburgh

Days 5 & 6: Austin to Edinburgh



I often talk myself through worst case scenarios. And my thinking usually defaults to what terrible things could possibly happen and what my options might be if those things might actually occur. I have found that there is no better way to send me into this line of disastrous  thinking than to travel internationally, with multiple transfers while not having our children with us.
I managed to imagine all the ways our flight might be late causing us to miss our connector and if that didn't happen how we might manage, not if, but surely when, our luggage got lost. Upon arriving to Edinburgh none of these things had happened and in fact the trip was seamless. My jet lagged brain decided it was best to put aside this catastrophic thinking and to enjoy our walking tour of the city.
Once we sat down at a pub and I realized I had wifi, my anxiety sprang into action again. I checked on our younger kids. Their rapid responses along with their aunt assuring me they were having fun and behaving allowed me to assuage at least three quarters of my worry. Then I started to count the minutes since I texted Allison, our oldest. She wasn't responding. Surely she'd been in a terrible car accident or a victim of human trafficking! My children know I tend to worry excessively and are knowledgeable in the ways to calm their, "chicken mommy" a term used more for my ability to brood over my flock than any reference to my underlying fear about our children's well being. Nevertheless they know when a phone call will help to relieve all my concerns and that it did when I heard Allison's sleepy voice from half the world away. "Hey mom, what's up? I was sleeping." Of course she was sleeping, she's a teenager and it was early morning in Phoenix,
There was a traffic sign I saw yesterday that was the equivalent of our American, "yield" signs. It read, "Give Way." Perhaps the universe reminding me to let go, possibly relax more and not overthink things to death? Yes, perhaps yet I wonder what new tragedy is around the corner today.

Days 3 & 4: Austin

Days 3 & 4: Austin

It is my intention to keep a blog of our 2017 summer journey highlighting our days of pilgrimage. I hope our children find it interesting.   

There is an extensive network of trails that wind in and out of my brother in-law and sister in-law’s house. I have taken advantage of the length of these trails as well as the cooler albeit more humid weather to get in some hiking miles. Yesterday as I walked along a deer appeared in front of me. I slowly moved closer to her and snapped a picture before she leapt off.  My heart swelled with happiness as I remembered that deer are a spiritual harbinger of gentleness and love.  I felt pretty lucky and continued on my way.

A few miles later I came upon a women walking ahead of me. She slowed down and started explaining that she often gets confused whether it’s cicadas or katydids that sing in the daytime. We chatted and she told me a lot about her life, and how she loves living in this area because of the trails. I mentioned I had come upon a deer earlier in the day. To this she said, “Oh, of course there are hundreds of them around here.” All of the sudden the encounter my doe friend didn’t seem so magical.

Tomorrow we will head to Scotland and in about a week Rob and I will begin our walking pilgrimage in Ireland. We will hike a portion of the Wicklow Way, the same trail I walked 3 years ago. It will be the second time on the walk and my 3^rd time in Ireland. At what point does something change from rare and magical to mundane and commonplace? My new friend on my Austin walk certainly thought nothing of my mystical deer and I wonder how much of my life I take for granted rather then to take notice and look more deeply into the meaning of each moment or circumstance.

Day 2: Ft. Stockton to Austin

Day 2: Ft. Stockton to Austin

It is my intention to keep a blog of our 2017 summer journey highlighting our days of pilgrimage. I hope our children find it interesting.   

There isn’t a whole lot to see while driving across west Texas and John and I kept occupied by listening to 70’s and 80’s playlists and the audio version of The Count of Monte Cristo. I was taken by John’s appreciation of Kenny Loggins (especially the theme song to Caddy Shack), seemingly anything by Journey and the classic funk of Stevie Wonder. John stated he would like to some day learn to play Superstition on the piano.

John’s interest in his summer reading project also impressed me. The Count of Mount Cristo is not an easy read, or for that matter easy to listen to, but somehow both John and I had gotten wrapped into the dramatic twists and turns of Edmond Dantès life and the book surprised us by throwing a little Napoleon in for good measure.

When we left Ft. Stockton, John and I were wondering to each other if that truly was the largest roadrunner in the world. Then he reminded me of another roadrunner, one we had seen yesterday in the parking lot of the Safeway in Willcox, AZ. I had forgotten but there had been a curious roadrunner that approached us as I was tending to John’s foot. The bird had come very close to the van and had examined us and then went on its way. As we started toward Austin, John said that he thought that roadrunner was God and served as protection for us.

I could only wonder and hope.

Day 1 Phoenix to Ft. Stockton

Day 1 Phoenix to Ft. Stockton

It is my intention to keep a blog of our 2017 summer journey highlighting our days of pilgrimage. I hope our children find it interesting.    

I have spent many hours these last several months preparing for this trip. Leaving home for over 3-weeks is somewhat daunting and adding in visits to multiple countries while considering the well being of our 4 children adds an extra dose of overwhelmed.

The bookings were completed weeks ago and the packing finished well before last minute. So, slipping out the door in those pre-dawn hours with just one teenaged boy was seamless.  I love driving during the early morning hours. There is a meditative calmness in the car that seems to transcend to the small number of other vehicles on the road. The glow of the sun behind the mountain always wraps me in a certain kind of warmth, a reassurance for the day’s travel.

Our first stop was in Willcox, AZ. John had cut his foot the night before and needed some tending so he could slip his shoes on. After some cleaning and bandaging we were set to go.

On our way into the store, I noticed a man just finishing a conversation with someone in the parking lot. His eyes were quick to focus on me. He was wearing ill-fitting, torn jeans and had what appeared to be a holster with a sidearm attached to his thigh. His shirt was askew and slightly dirty. He was unshaven and his mannerisms were that of someone coming down from a high. We walked in the store and up to the Starbucks counter. I noticed he had followed us in and was standing half behind a kiosk near the check stands. He was looking over at me. He blinked inconsistently and his body twitched and writhed almost unperceivably.  I asked the barista if she knew him, thinking he might be the town tweaker. She said she didn’t, which turned my initial feeling of discomfort into something I don’t generally feel in these situations, abject fear.

I am in unsafe or questionable areas often and am approached for money or some sort of other request for help at least a few times per month. Most of the time I engage in conversation with these people and at most I feel a sense of awkwardness. Standing in that Safeway at 6 in morning, I had a sense of dread because by now John and I had moved to the deli area and the man had followed us, again standing slightly behind a display case. I told John that the guy was scary and freaking me out and that we needed to go to the cashier and ask for an escort from the store. Which is what we did and the cashier agreed that he was frightening and had her manager call the police.

Back on the road again, I thought about how out of the ordinary that experience was for me. I generally (and perhaps naively) don’t get overly concerned with thoughts that others might bring harm. Not in that context anyway. My fears revolve more around distracted or impaired drivers. I have rarely if ever asked for help out of fear that someone might intentionally hurt one of our children or me. And for that I am thankful.

Paper Airplanes

Paper Airplanes

For the past two years, I have been attending Wisdom’s Way School of spiritual direction. This past Sunday I graduated from the program. The following is a musing about some of the results of this 2-year journey.

As our children have gotten older, family meals have gotten progressively more infrequent. Our once predictable nightly meal has given way to a variety of combinations of people at the dinner table. And sadly, at times, dinner takes place in the car running from one practice or activity to another.

Early this spring was one of those uncommon evenings when the stars aligned and all of us Lowes happened to be home for dinner and strangely no one had anywhere to be after our meal. The food was simple, probably something frozen from Costco. The kitchen table was strewn with multiplication flash cards, children’s homework and remnants of that morning’s cereal. Nevertheless, dinner was served.

We are a family of six and when we sit down together there is never a dull or quiet moment. Each of us talked about our day. There was a jovial mood around the table that evening. Laughter and joking helped to lift me out of my funk from the workday.

I noticed a box sitting on a bench near the kitchen table. It was a kit of origami paper with an instruction book on how to make paper airplanes. I asked one of the kids to pass the box and proclaimed that I could make an awesome paper airplane. Small, square papers were handed around.

Rob and I have different styles regarding how to fold a plane and we each jostled each other into a competition of sorts. The kids gleefully joined in. And after some instruction on proper engineering, I was surrounded by bits of folded, colorful paper flying past my head. I looked around the table and each of my wonderful children was with me, showing up as their true selves and being perfectly present in that moment.

This is what a spiritual life is about. Being able to notice those moments that might otherwise seem mundane and experience the profound otherness in them.

For me this is where God is found.

The last two years in Wisdom School has given me is the ability to step outside of my narrow expectations and to see the vastness of what is real and important in any given moment. I have been allowed to join others in their journeys and have been witness to what it is to be truly human and in turn have experienced a capacity for compassion I have never felt before.

The Wisdom School has helped to make me brave and to venture out and bring other seekers together in our monthly soul group. I continue to be in awe at the love and vulnerability that flows during our soul circle gatherings. This amazing group of women has just clicked in the most marvelous of ways and I think that click we hear is a divine click. The universe telling us that it is good.

One of my mentors always checks in on me and asks, “Are you having fun?” At first I thought this was a glib question but now I know it is one of the most important of all spiritual questions. Because without fun there would be no divine clicking,  or the joy of humanness and by no means would there be any paper airplanes.